London is a shithole

2011-10-20T01:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I've just escaped from London after having spent nearly the past three years there. I now feel compelled to warn every other decent human being on the planet of the perils of trying to live in that God-forsaken shithole.

Where do I start?

Let's take the public transport. The Tube is unbelievably bad and unreliable. There isn't a morning that goes by that you have one or more lines, each of which is critical, completing failing or severely disrupted. Don't believe that it is either fast, efficient, cheap or pleasant. It is full of miserable people who are jammed into what look like miniature toy trains without any airconditioning at all. You pay up to 4 pounds for the privilege of going one stop only. Most people WILL NOT move or give seats up for pregnant women or women carrying babies in their arms. You may ask, why do they carry babies in their arms and not in a pram or stroller? Because most stations doesn't even have lifts or escalators, or escalators that are non-functioning. You will just have some hooded gangsta in the seat reserved for people who need a seat, legs fully outstretched so that you have to step over them to get in and out, headphones on and just staring at the woman in obvious discomfort. It is unbelievable. Also, it is probably the only UNDERGROUND train line which shuts down due to snow....yes, you heard right. Or leaves...or hot sun....or rain....or ice...or dust (I kid you not).

Then you get the excuses made up by TfL and the staff there. We haven't got money to upgrade the station (what are you doing with the 4 quid a ride??). It is the world's oldest system and that is why it breaks down. Ahem...perhaps you dim-witted numb-nuts don't understand that the Hong Kong MTR line opened only one year after the Jubilee line opened...and the Jubilee line, at the time of my stay, was one of the most unreliable lines. The Hong Kong line has air-conditioning, is extremely reliable, clean and quick (and no hooded Peckham gangsta).

So, that's enough rant for now about the trains. I haven't even started on the taxis, which are extortionate in price. Actually, I think I need to devote an entire blog just on the extortion you experience in that country and the extremely high charges, taxes, fees, rates, etc. Or the crime/intimidation. Or the arrogance. Or the absolutely crap food. Or the dysfunctional roads. Or the NHS. Or the weather (you probably are already aware of that). Or the profligacy of the government/local councils (one story was that the head of Islington parking inspectors was booked for parking illegally and then getting out of the fine...that's not the amazing part, it is that he was booked driving a Mercedes convertible sportscar...that's the kind of salary that a council is getting out of your 1,500 pounds a year for council tax - with rubbish collected only every 2 weeks. Nice). Or why the media felt the need to report "community spirit" after the riots, when most other cities in the world take community spirit for granted and don't feel the need to plaster it onto the front page of ever newspaper...as if to show the world London is something other than a miserable crap-hole.

Good luck if you still want to go there. Just remember this, when people go there, their first positive comment about London is how easy it is to travel to Europe - i.e. the best part of London is getting the hell out of there (when the Picadilly line hasn't failed, BA isn't on strike, etc).